Well it isn’t easy but we managed to raise a little hell in Portland Last night. We are just about coming round now which is 6pm.

Determined to shed a little of the old gits image that we found came so easily on this trip, we were looking for some trouble, well a bit of a laugh would do.

Started with martini’s at the hotel happy hour. It said it on the board “martini’s in happy hour $5 each”. We had 4. When the bill came you can imagine our surprise when it was for $98. I know math has never been either Jeff or my strongest point but surely somewhere between $20-$30 with tax etc would seem about right but $98 seemed way off the mark.

Never one to make a fuss but I had to ask the question partly because it was my round. The barman said it was because I called my Vodka, which is of course Grey Goose. I said but that is a con, you asked me which vodka,  not “if you pick one it will be $20 and not the $5 which was plainly written on the board in the lift”.

I would like warn anyone attending the Portland Harbour hotel happy hour to watch it as its not straight forward. Plus the bar is crap anyway so you may as well go elsewhere.

Then it was dinner with Jeff’s account in town, Gail and Jennifer who were delightful and handled the handful that Jeff and I were becoming after two bottles of red on top of the overpriced martini’s very well indeed.

After dinner we left the ladies and went to look for excitement. This was exactly the moment that we should have called it a night and headed for our single room and the Horlicks.

Having never knowingly made the sensible decision, we found the only place in town with a bad looking crowd; Sunny’s. I said to Jeff I will make friends in 1 minute. It was more like 45 seconds. I spotted a woman with a whole squid tattoo sleeve. That was like a red rag to me. How could I resist. What a commitment to living by the sea. Complete with long tentacles and suckers, it was a beautiful creature (the tattoo obviously). The rest of the evening involved a lot of booze and a room service meal which Jeff swore blind he didn’t order or eat; unfortunately I had photographs of him eating it to my complete disbelief at the time.

Before setting off back to NY we had to have what Maine is famous for; lobster. Which when you are hungover can be more challenging than you might expect. All that cracking and foraging for a morsel stuck right up a pincher somewhere. In the end we threw in the towel and went along the wharf to the Portland Lobster Company and had lobster rolls which is basically the same but all the manual work has been done for you.

The 5 hour drive went too quickly arriving at Alex Sepkus, Jeff’s business partner’s house to our reception party where they’d all been at the sherry for a couple of hours. Apparently we were late. Tried to explain you can’t hurry a 59 T bird, very much like the two occupants; it’s a stubborn bugger that enjoys life at its own pace. A little slower than back in the day, but not without its moments.

SW